Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Tuesdays With Morrie? How 'bout Months With Menopause?

Every time I hear one of my friends from the north say they moved down here because they were tired of the harsh winters, I want to ask, "Have you ever been in South Carolina in August??" It's like Hell sends its left over heat here. As a matter of fact, wet T-shirt contests didn't originate in bars, they were just a natural progression from sweating through three sets of clothes in a day. I, therefore, love air conditioning.

For years, I kept the thermostat somewhere between 65 and 68 degrees in the summer. Walk in my house from the hot, humid, oven-baked air outside and your glasses would immediately fog over. Walk out of my house into the heat and condensation would form on your body like a mini weather system in the tropics.

But now that we're enduring "the change," my thermostatic antics seem like child's play. My temps now seem sauna like compared to those my lovely bride needs to battle hot flashes. I'm pretty sure they store corpses in a morgue at a higher temperature than we keep in our house. The kids walk around in sweats in July. I feel like I need a thermal suit and snowshoes just to reach the bed at night, and I've told Myra on several occasions that when the St. Bernard with the whiskey barrel around his neck comes looking for survivors, please point him to my side of the bed.

Is there any wonder why I get whacked in the shoulder on a regular basis?

Okay, here's today's recipe:

Crab Dip (Easy peasy, but it looks gourmet; sure to impress your friends--especially the ladies!)

1 block Creme Cheese (not the tub. Has to be the block)
1 jar of seafood cocktail sauce
1 small can of crab

Take a fancy smancy glass plate and place the opened block of creme cheese in the middle.
Cover the block with the cocktail sauce
Spread the crab over the top of the sauce

Serve with famcy smancy crackers and just wait for the compliments.

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